A New Beginning

Can’t rid myself of the past that was
Can’t wash my sins away
Can’t undo the wrong that was done
Can’t hide the demons from yesterday

All I can do is start anew
And change my life from now
No, the burden of past too grave
Keeps catching me somehow

The cruel world keeps relating me
To what I had done ago
Agreed I was immature and stupid
But those habits I’ll forgo

Beg of you to judge me yourself
Don’t go by what others say
Past is gone and future uncertain
I am what I am today

Paradox

Life is a mystery
Life is a misery
Life is a tragedy

Life is hostility
Life is anarchy
Life is monotony

Life is an anomaly
Life is an agony
Life is insanity

So
Death is a cure and
Life is a disease
Life is a battle
Death is the peace

Life is a drama and
Death is the curtain
Life is an uncertainty
Death is the certain

Life is the emotions and
Death is the calm
Life is the convolutions
Death is the charm

Life is the means and
Death is the end
Death is the truth
Life is the pretense

Life is a bitch and
Death is the dog
Life is the devil
Death is the god

Terrorist

Break my chains and set me free
And I promise to follow thee
Give a command my master
And I shall unleash disaster
What has god given to me?
Except pain, despair and agony

My lord
You are the ray of darkness
You are the noose of freedom
You are the unholy sacred
You are the king without kingdom

Tired of this mundane life
Give me a sword or gun or knife
Give me a reason to exist
Your ideology I’ll persist
Let me make a river of blood
Kill some more to make it flood

Cause
You are the blessed curse
You are the violent calm
You are the death divine
You are the painless harm

Accomplished what was meant for me
Spreading pain, fear and anarchy
Now you have left me stray
No more commands for me to obey
Now I shall feed your river
I was me but now I am never

And
You are the faithful backstabber
You are the loyal deceiver
You are the evil good
You are the religious killer

Irony

In spite of friends feeling lonely
In spite of fullness feeling empty
In spite of position feeling powerless
In spite of testosterone feeling emasculate
In spite of status feeling hollow
In spite of depth feeling shallow
In spite of peace feeling desperate
In spite of air I suffocate
In spite of freedom feeling chained
In spite of energy feeling drained
In spite of limbs feeling maimed
In spite of laughter feeling sorrow
In spite of today feeling apprehensive of tomorrow
In spite of liquor feeling pain
In spite of success feeling vain
In spite of riches feeling poor
In spite of assurance feeling insecure
In spite of light feeling afraid
In spite of life feeling dead

Love

Can’t take you out of my head
You’re with me until I’m dead
Admired you, desired you
My inner feelings you never knew
Acted like a loser and fool
Thinking that it will make me look cool
Would have been a slave to your command
Would have fulfilled your every demand
Thoughts which I never expressed
Slowly made me more depressed
A million times rehearsed those lines chosen
But in your presence I became frozen
Would have redefined the meaning of love
If only I was smart enough
A dumb ass fool that I always am
Destroyed everything before it all began
Anytime I close my eyes your face appears
And in loneliness I shed my tears…

Betrayal

Cried for help
Prayed for strength
Hoped for joy
Longed for courage
Appealed for peace
Yearned for fortune
Craved for fame
Begged for respect
Pleaded for mercy
Requested for love
Bowed for blessing
Asked for direction
But it never came
Is it the god that failed?
Or destiny that played?
Or the life before?
Or the deeds before?
Or is it you?

Hell II

Demons, monsters everywhere
Darkness, death and despair
Not an iota of law and order
Nobody a friend, nobody a brother
Emaciated bodies eating shit
Atrophying flesh bit by bit
Blazing inferno everywhere
Hearing nothing else but swear
Hell is the name of the place
Familiar to me in many ways
This is the place where I used to stay
Again I’m here after going away

Hell

Hell is the place to be
Filled with many a personality
If you follow religious text
Going to hell is a chance that’s best
All are sinners one way or other
Some by mistake, some by pleasure
Struggling seventy odd years of life
Parents, relatives, children and wife
Sinning and praying to wash them away
All for a chance in heaven to stay
Converting earth to hell in process
Recalling almighty in times of distress
Forgetting in hell that lord doesn’t come
Cause hell is home to the devil’s son
Who in turn accentuates the misery
And again we pray for ending the agony
We are praying in the wrong land
Never destined to see the lord’s hand
Who cares what happens when we die
At least on this earth live and try
To make this world as the world should be
No.., because hell is the place for me

Slaves of a Cubicle

Slave of a cubicle
Chained by a computer
Servant to a cell phone
Addicted to a monitor

Communication through e-mail
Friends on orkut
Enamored by the a.c.
Diet vended coffee and biscuit

Attire is the formal
Collar is the noose
Sycophantic to the boss
Bogged down by the rules

Ride is the corporate vehicle
Leisure is the inox
Escape is the pub
Freedom is the idiot box

Getaway is the weekend
Wearing levis and adidas
Splurging insanely because
Wallet copious of cards

Resigning is a habit
Not without rhyme and reason
There I will be treated like a better dog
I am choosing a superior prison

Retribution

Boiling blood, burning rage
Run and hide inside your cage
Monster awake, consequences immaterial
Damage I will and damage physical
Evils galore, darkness clout
No mercy weather you beg or shout
Sympathy dead, fear gone
Penalty for the acts you’ve done
Weapon in hand, vengeance in thought
You’ve deserved what you’ve got
Act done, hormones subside
Now time for me to run and hide
Life wasted, future uncertain
Waiting for life to pull its curtain
Neck tied, head covered
At that time a thought occurred
I am dead and so are you
Waiting to see you soon

Domesticated Pets

A child is born, celebrate
Initiate the process to domesticate
Right from day one teach him right and wrong
God, religion, morals, karma all acting along
Domestication everywhere
Not a single place is spare
Home, school, college, university
Streets, busses, trains, society
Workplace and playfield
Religious and war fields
Rules, regulations, order and discipline
Confirm to these else you’ve sinned
Free or a pseudo freedom?
Feeling like confined in a dungeon
What is the purpose, what have we achieved?
Is it order, sense and harmony?
Why do people break the rules?
Misbelieving the lie that they are fools
We are still slave to responses biological
Left behind by the advances technological
Alas, evolution has lost the race
Science and technology well ahead in pace
What is in store only time will tell
I just hope that all is well

I am

I am the fear when you are afraid
I am the words that you never said
I am the tears when you cry
I am the truth when you lie
I am the cop when you steal
I am the wound that does not heal
I am the curse when you sin
I am the loser when you win
I am the thorn when you walk
I am the tirade when you talk
I am the guilt when you confess
I am the limit when it is excess
I am there when you are alone
I am the pity that you’ve never shown
I am the dream when you are scared
I am the clothes when you are bare
I am the cure when you are sick
I am the time when it doesn’t tick
I am the light when it is dark
I am the sign, the indelible mark
I am the mercy when pardon you beg
I am the courage when inhibition you shed
I am the valor when you are bold
I am the warmth during times of cold
I am the question which bothers you
I am the answer which you never knew
I am the ghost in your cemetery
I am your companion when you are buried
I am the blood when you bleed
I am the hunger which you can’t feed
I am the lust when you peep
I am the secret which you can’t keep
I am anger, hatred and jealousy
I am pain, despair and agony
I am love, peace and harmony
I am pleasure, gratitude and mercy
I am sane I am lunacy
I am virtue I am vice
I am ugly I am nice
I am the mountain you can’t climb
I am the one you can’t find
I am you but you are blind

High

Boredom of monotony
It is the high that I need
It is the moment of anxiety
When you set yourself free
Come out of your zone of comfort
Yes, it will take an effort
But you will discover you
Know what is false and true
Feel the force of adrenalin
Feel it come from within
Don’t be afraid and don’t back out
It will give you something to ponder about
There are different routes to ‘high’
One of the routes you should try
Sometimes you tread on a path that is wrong
Times like these be brave and strong
Retrace back and start anew
Tried and eliminated a few
The remaining ones are your passion
Don’t make it your vision or mission
But treading those will give you ‘high’
Enjoy it once before you die

Buddhe Baba

There was a wise man once I was told
The visage of his suggested he was old
This old man had vowed celibacy
He lived in wilderness amidst jungle and trees
With rigorous meditation he became a priest
Was revered by all, human and beast
He dedicated all his life in search of immortality
For discovering the elixir of life he made a brewery
After thousands of recipes success he had none
And one day he decided that this is the last one
With trembling hands he put the potion in his mouth
The heavenly taste made him scream and shout
All these years of failure in vain had not gone
He named the potion after himself, he named it Old Monk

Desire

The pauper wants riches
The hungry want food
The demented wants sleep
Nobody knows what’s good

The loser wants victory
The victor wants fame
The failure wants success
The loner wants dame

The owner wants profit
The labour wants right
The society wants order
But still we continue to fight

The diseased wants health
The meek wants power
The senseless wants senses
The naked wants a cover

Nobody knows what they want
Nobody knows what they need
Nobody knows themselves
It is just greed they feed

Needs and desires never end
But hey they are good
They are the fire in our belly
And that is why things are the way they should

Agreed that root of all suffering
Is our desires and want
It is as was said by great men
Can’t abdicate them I can’t

Close your eyes and imagine once
How our society will be
If all relinquish their desires and needs
And renounce whatever is worldly

Nobody works nobody cares
A world full of sages
It will stop the evolution of man
And take us back to ages

All cannot be learned at once
There will be only a few great men I say
They will teach us why and how to live
But these things we won’t obey

Madre

My source of light, my only hope
Without her I see no scope
Her love is the fuel of my life
This keeps me going stride by stride
This is why I suppress my monster
Only because I truly love her
This makes me civilized
But little do others realize
That I am burning inside
The whims and fancy of society
Is too complicated for me
Feel like a missing piece
Tried by all but did not fit
It is then like guiding light
Her love enters and fears subside
Without her I am void
My reason to live and die
Made me what I am today
Lost for words cannot say
How much I truly love her
No one else but my mother

Fear

Each one has a fear inside
Fear that darkness will swallow light
Fear of strange and slimy creatures
Roaches, spiders or a lizard
Fear of water, fear of height
Fear of losing your sight
It is sometimes the fear within
This keeps us away from sin
Fear is just a disease of mind
Cure to which is hard to find
The only escape is to face your fears
Face it till the fear disappears

Luck

One question that has continuously puzzled me
The answer to it seemed like fantasy
The question is related to luck
Many would say what the fuck
But the answer is important to me
It is related to faith and belief
Why do the survivors survive?
Why don’t they simply die?
Why did Jack win the lottery?
Was it the lucky number three?
The pseudo science of numerology
Misspelling your name for you to be lucky
My lucky charm, my lucky mascot
Is it really lucky you idiot?
My lucky day, my lucky time
Today everything will turn out fine
After lot of thinking and introspection
Discussions leading to dejection
After reading several books
Many months and years it took
That in life there are numerous possibilities
Luck my friend is just probability

Emancipation

Lord why am I always neglected?
Tried my best but always rejected
Searching for love and care
Looking for someone fair
Experiencing only pain and agony
My life is been a compilation of tragedies
Cursing both outside and within
Can someone tell my forbidden sin?
Ask of friends and I have none
Parents were there but now they have gone
Mind like a volcano waiting to erupt
Body both polluted and corrupt
There is nothing more left of me
Happiness never destined to see
Wrist is slashed neck is tied
Only the body is left the spirit has died
Still only hatred in my mind dwell
As I wait for a welcome in hell

Atheist

Don’t trust in either God or Satan
Can’t see a logic in all this mayhem
Can’t digest a superior power
Controlling the universe from now and forever
Deciding whom to reward and punish
Deciding how to melt out justice
Deciding when and where to havoc natural disaster
Deciding the dead and the survivor
Deciding the virtue and the sin
Deciding who will pay for them
Nor can there be vampire and ghost
Evil spirits taking by force
Compelling us to heinous deeds
We just do to crave our needs
Fear of dark is hidden inside
Don't trust me then close your eyes
This wants us to believe in evil
Satan, Asura or the devil
And then we pray to god
Save me from evil oh my lord
Trapped inside the vicious cycle
Label random events as miracle
Oh but wait I see light
Mind is clear, spirit is bright
God and Satan both I see
Dumbfounded I am but they were always…..me

War

Lands both near and far
Lands which are ravaged by war
Difference of ideology
Difference of policy
Difference of faith and belief
Difference of religion and creed
But the other side is similar to me
Why can’t we live in peace and harmony?
Wars both outside and within
Innocent lives paying for someone else’s sin
Who is the real victor of war?
It gives birth to another czar
To continue the vicious cycle
Misleading people to a miracle
The miracle that will never be
Light of day many will never see
Sacrificing life and limb for a meaningless cause
Dragging others into it because
They are on the other side
To respond they have to fight
Many brave men have died because
They had to fight in bloody wars

C2H5OH

Can’t see straight can’t walk tall
Start to run but eventually fall
Can’t utter words they are all sluggish
Can’t take food because feeling pukish
Can’t think right, feeling brain dead
Can’t even see the road ahead
All I dream is nightmares
Try to hold on to something because feeling scared
Logic and reasons have no place
Move aside I need my personal space
Walk like a snake, regurgitating all the way
‘This is the last time’, is what I say
From when have I bought the rotating bed?
Or is it C2H5OH in my head
Head is aching body is dehydrated
Hangovers are usually complicated
Never again I take a vow
Keeping the deadline I wonder how
Cursing myself and my friend
Wondering when this agony will end
Day is over and it is completely screwed
Starting evening started to booze

Memories

Times and places always change
Memories is what remains
Close your eyes and think about
Memories that will scream and shout
Just try to visualize
Then you will realize
There would’ve been times when you’ve created
Times when you’ve annihilated
Times when you’ve caused a smile
Or caused sadness for a while
Times when you’ve felt fear within
Or the rush of adrenalin
Times when you’ve felt like a looser
Or times when you’ve got boozed up
Times you’ve felt extremely shy
Thinking now, wonder why?
Times when you’ve felt jealousy
Cause owners pride and neighbors envy
Times when you’ve felt elated
To celebrate got inebriated
Times when you’ve lost your will
Carried on no matter still
Times when you sympathize
Later on to realize
One you cared gives a fuck
So finally you decided to chuck
All you got is your memories
Using which you tell a million stories
You’ve stripped from all but not from these
Even after you rest in peace

Life

From heaven to earth and back to hell
A thousand stories I need to tell
From joy to calm and then despair
In the entire world there are few who care
From war to peace and back to war
I’ve traveled land both near and far
From hatred to love and to jealousy
From riches and wealth to misery
From joy and laughter to sorrow
From yesterday today and tomorrow
From north to south to east and west
A thousand times I’ve undergone the test
From smirk to grin and laughter and tears
I’ve cried for help but nobody hears
From loneliness to fullness and back to emptiness
There is a need for someone who can caress
From young and old and adolescent
My life has always been transparent
I’ve lived a thousand adventures
Met a million creatures
Cried from both joy and pain
Drenched in both sweat and rain
Struggled a lot, sometimes in vain
The struggle seems to never end
A silver lining we can all pretend
But fighting is the essence of life
Living each moment on the edge of a knife

Death

The moment one enters he begins to die
This is the universal truth but not a lie
This is true for one and all
The one who rises must also fall
Stay at the top is for a short duration
Short can have many definitions
It can be a moment, an hour or a century
Depending upon weather it is an individual, a kingdom or a species
One fact we all must appreciate
That everything in the universe will depreciate
It is the survival of the fittest
Be it smarter, quicker or the biggest
Call it fact, fiction, truth or lie
All will decay and die

Happiness

Why are we earning?
Why are we slogging?
Why are we sacrificing?
Why are we sweating?
Why are we not living?
Why are we dying?
Why are we lying?
Why are we crying?
Why are we tense?
Why are we drinking?
Why are we smoking?
Why are we being selfish?
Why are we attracted towards position?
Why are we cruel?
Why are we sorrow?
Why are we sick with obesity, diabetes and hypertension?
Isn’t the purpose of life to be happy?
Are we seeking happiness in running after money?
What is the source of happiness?
Family…friends….
Are we losing out on them for the sake of money?
If we are losing out on our source of happiness then why are we chasing money?
Chase happiness
There is only one life
Understand your strength and weakness
Understand your ability
Don’t compare yourself with others but with your own self
Setting targets is fruitful only after understanding your own capabilities
Monitor yourself against what you were for tracking progress
Otherwise you will chase something that you will never get
In turn you will lose out on family and friends
In turn you will be unhappy
Life is too precious to be chasing the wrong things
The purpose of life is to be happy even in the minutest things
Work towards that and the complains would disappear
To live in a civilized society we require food, clothing and shelter
We have to work to earn for arranging those
The quantity and degree will vary individually
We are also all part of a system
Work is required for us to be in that system and to provide the necessities
But happiness is somewhere else
Work towards happiness and not towards want of more
Because the more you have the more you are secluded

GOD

What is God, what is the need?
Is it to divide us by religion, caste and creed?
Is it for those who are obsessed with authority?
Is it for us who need support during times of difficulty?
Or is it for all who are hit by the herd mentality?
But what different is one religion from another?
Does God really tell us to kill our own brothers?
Religion has become more of propaganda
Divide and rule, has become the agenda
Strength in unity is difficult to digest
Despise and hatred is all that we harvest
Following customs that are difficult to comprehend
Why don’t we apply our minds is what I don’t understand
Blind faith and blind following is all that I see
Keep all those to yourself, no it is not for me
Why are we behaving like puppets, strings of which are with somebody else?
I have a thousand and one questions the answer to which nobody tells
There are things which can’t be explained scientifically
Phenomenon’s which can be elucidated logically
Why should we attribute it to a higher power?
Are we shirking away from the truth or taking cover?
Thinking that we are perpetual is a mistake that I see
Species come and go and so shall we
Future is uncertain and the past is lost
Here and now is all we’ve got
Is it too difficult to be a good person without the stigma of God?

Self belief

Living one day at a time, don’t know what tomorrow has in store
Too tired of making plans because they work no more
The best is letting each day develop
Otherwise you simply will be fed up
Learn how to deal with uncertainty
For all you know, you might be feeling empty
But don’t shy away, be brave like a man
For only you can do things that nobody else can
Believe in yourself cause you are all that you’ve got
Occasionally take recourse of sex, alcohol or even the pot
Erase fear, doubt, and other weak emotions
Free your mind of all the commotion
You are your own master and you are capable
Remember my friend that nothing is impossible

Giving up

Direction is what I am looking for
Fatigued, my limbs are all sore
Tired of the systems and policy
Fed up of this bureaucracy
Nothing seems to be moving on
Life seems to be dragging on
Have they made a scapegoat of me?
Am I doing what was meant to be?
Loneliness is what I feel
Emptiness is much too real
Exhausted and battered I stand
Nowhere can I see a helping hand
But I am an optimist
This is the reason that I still exist
I still believe in the alchemist
With these thoughts I keep fighting on
Fuck the world, I will keep marching on
You can make it difficult but can’t take away my energy
I will keep at it until I reach the destiny